So this happened

I've been gone for a while, and it's one of those things where so much time had passed that I wasn't sure where I should pick back up. But then something happened, and I need somewhere to put it down in an attempt to move past it.

Three weeks ago on Thursday Sofi woke up with a stomach bug that Nico had had the week before. No big deal. I left her with Diana and went to work. When I got home, I was sitting on the couch, talking to Diana, and nursing Sofi when she went stiff in my arms, eyes rolled back, and stopped breathing. She was having a seizure. What happened next happened so fast that I don't really remember the order of events... Diana jumped into nurse mode, grabbed Sofi upside down trying to get her to breath. I had a phone in my hand and was calling 911. Diana took a blue Sofi to the dining room table (where Nico was eating a snack!). Diana gave her mouth-to-mouth. By the time the paramedics arrived her seizure had stopped, she was breathing and no longer blue. It lasted less than three minutes.

The paramedics checked her out, and she seemed fine. They suggested that it's not uncommon for kids to have a seizure when they spike a fever. Only problem: Sofi didn't have a fever. So we took her to the ER to have her checked. Other than the fact that she was throwing up they couldn't find anything wrong (blood work, chest x-rays, urine sample) so they sent us home and told us to follow up with our pediatrician in the morning. Friday morning we went to the clinic.We were waiting for the doctor after we saw the nurse, Sofi (after having spent the morning looking out of it) was looking relatively lively, and then it happened again - Matt saw her eyes rolling back and was able to grab her before she fell off the chair. I screamed and the doctor came in, and he was incredibly calm, just monitoring her - it was oddly calming and desperately unnerving. She turned blue again, and the doctor wasn't worried; apparently it's normal for kids having seizures to not breath for extended periods of time and be fine! And then it stopped. But it's not normal for children to have random seizures like this without a fever, so the doctor had her admitted to the hospital (the ICU) for observation. Apparently an EEG was needed but not available in Walla Walla...

We spent the day in the hospital, with Sofi mostly being out of it - normal for a kid that had a stomach bug, but still concerning given the circumstances. And then Friday afternoon seizure #3 happened. But it wasn't like the other ones; this time she started throwing up, her heart-rate dropped, and she coded. After watching the calming demeanor of the doctor that morning it was so scary to watch the nurse's reaction and how quickly that little hospital room filled up with hospital staff when they called the code. They gave her CPR, and she started breathing again, and her heart rate came back. But we couldn't just sit around waiting to see what happened next. So we asked to be taken to Seattle Children's' Hospital.

Loading up on the plane.

After some back and forth (apparently it takes some preparation to transport a medical patient) Sofi and I flew to Seattle in the middle of the night. We flew with a team of two paramedics who were ready to provide any care she might need during the trip. Sofi slept practically the whole time - she woke up in the ambulance in Seattle, freaked out when she couldn't see me (I had to sit in the front), and cried until we got to the hospital.

Transport to Seattle Children's... She looks so tiny.

I didn't sleep that night. I was too afraid to let myself relax. Fortunately Sofi didn't have that problem and rested surprisingly well. And Saturday morning I was grateful to be in Seattle, where I had my aunt who came over with breakfast and to keep me company, my dear friend Brooke who brought me all the things she knew I was going to need and had so much knowledge about the hospital, and my cousin who also came to visit. I was so grateful for their company & support. And while Matt, Diana & Nico drove over from Walla Walla, Sofi had the EEG that the doctors recommended.

Getting ready for the EEG

Everything came out normal, which was incredibly reassuring, but it didn't provide any answers.

A very patient patient.

Post-EEG hair.

It was also incredibly reassuring that despite the anxiety everyone around her was feeling, Sofi was (for the most part) in really good spirits.

Acting like nothing!

After the third seizure the medical team gave Sofi some anti-convulsion medicine that was supposed to last at least 24 hours. So even though the medical team in Seattle didn't seem too concern, they kept us there for observation long enough for the medicine to wear off and give her body a chance to do what it was going to do. Finally, on Monday morning, after no more seizures and no signs of concern, Sofi was released from the hospital. We stayed in Seattle one more night, just in case, and then drove back to Walla Walla.

Since getting back Sofi has just continued to improve - it's like those five days never happened.

But it hasn't been that easy for Matt & I... Not sure that's something you ever really recover from: watching your child stop breathing, turn blue, code... For a few nights Matt & I took turn sleeping in the bottom bunk in the kids room. And even though we've stopped doing that I still have a hard time relaxing, sleeping, resting. Not sure when that's going to change.

Selfie boy

But like I said, it helps to see Sofi doing so well. And the constant distraction of our little Nico. I've been playing catch-up since we got back (with work and with school), but I've also been making an effort to pay extra attention to Nico who was incredibly patient and sweet throughout this whole ordeal.

Walla Walla Balloon Stampede